Despair is a word that scares us to the bone. Despair is a feeling we are programed to avoid or at least conceal should it catch up with us on some random Monday afternoon when we least expected it. Despair blows cold through a fragile heart, like a stormy wind against an ill-fitting window it will find our cracks and reach far into our timid spirits.

Dom KerkDespair doesn’t care what we have been or what we have seen. It dances in the shadows cast by the flickering warmth of a Christmas candle or as  demons in the dark corners of a  room aglow with the shimmering fairy light of a smoky fire. It hides in the broken heart of a life spent exposed to a world that turned away and had nothing to say.

It hides in the dreams of an abandoned child with a pillow for a mother and a father blinded by expectations impossible, unreachable, impeachable. The impeccable failure, the perfect misfit, a heart without a body and a body torn apart by long wasted dreams of a summers warmth, of laughter and love. Despair becomes so easily the fabric-forming thread that clothes a naked soul and keeps her from feeling the cold endless stares of people who know but just don’t care.

Despair hides in the palm of your hand when the answer you thought you’d found explodes into a thousand questions and then a thousand more. Despair waits for you in your home, on your own when you close the door and you can hide from the truth no more.

Despair is the end of a life spent wishing for a body that was true, for a body just like you……

Despair is about saying goodbye……

Despair is about not knowing why……


3 thoughts on “Despair…….

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